He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My breasts were aching with rage.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
