Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
