This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
pray to the hookup gods
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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