its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
