I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
