im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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