Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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