Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
