hotel room ftw
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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