so that wasnt chicken after all
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
