Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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