WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
