Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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