This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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