She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
