The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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