therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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