You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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