Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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