My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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