I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
