You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want to make out with him forever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
