i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
