So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
