So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
