question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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