i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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