I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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