did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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