we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
