Non-Jews are for practice
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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