Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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