After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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