just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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