my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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