The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There are leaves in my underwear?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
