Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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