im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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