Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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