I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
