mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
