Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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