would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
