It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
