i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
