careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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