He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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