Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
