garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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