the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
