I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
