Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
