I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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