Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
