Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

need another drink. this is the easiest way

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.

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(925): View more from California

We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

(831): View more from California

He's CUTE. and foreign

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(620): View more from Kansas

Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.

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(+61): View more from Australia

BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

(+61): View more from Australia

SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!

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(760): View more from California

I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.

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