she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
