I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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