# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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