Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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