is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
