Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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