Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
