I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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