If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
