thus making me awesome and them whores
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
