so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
