she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
