Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
