I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
