Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
