so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
