I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The air was thick with penises
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
