You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
