i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
